He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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