somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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