You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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