Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
