Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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