i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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