yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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