Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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