im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
