I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
