If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
