TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
