Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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