okay pat passed out under dana's car
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
