His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
