summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
