i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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