im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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