normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
