Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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