I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
