doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
