im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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