Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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