tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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