Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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