he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
