her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you inspire me to be a worse person
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
