It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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