Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
be right there i have to get my cape
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
