I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
