there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
