I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize