Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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