you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
