How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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