I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
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I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Congratulations! We have a period
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