when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
