I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That accounts for only three of the penises
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
