So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize