oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize