Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
