I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
