Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
