I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
