Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
cat food counts as protein by the way
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
