super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
