You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
