Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
