you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I will pee on everything he values.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
