I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
