honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
