Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
