Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize