i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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