in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
