Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
