In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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