somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
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Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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