**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
