would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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